Knock, Knock - it's me!

Why, hello there! If anyone is indeed still there? So, my 'short blogging break' turned into a six month one! I never, for one minute, intended that to be the case but life simply did take over and the days, weeks and months have disappeared since my last post. The reason for all this, as you have probably guessed either by the picture above or if you follow me on my Pinterest page, is a 'tinywhitedaisy' is soon on the way, here into my corner of the world!

In fact, today I am exactly 30 weeks pregnant - yes 30 weeks!! Back in February we found out that I was expecting after just under five years of trying to conceive; after a successful second round of IVF. Even though I have never mentioned our personal fertility battle on here I want you all to know that Hydrangeas and White Daisies and all of you gorgeous readers was a massive comfort, distraction and help through some very tough times and reading about others struggles helped me tremendously.

For this reason I do not simply want to return here in a whirl of all things baby without opening up a little to you about our situation first. Back in 2006, after being together for over five years we decided we wanted to start a family and along with organising our wedding we set upon what has turned out to be a very long journey. After various rounds of fertility drugs and an exploratory operation we were no further down the line and were referred to a clinic with 'unexplained infertility'. We started our IVF journey at the clinic over two years ago and had a positive result from the first round of treatment last year. However, last summer we suffered the loss of miscarriage. During this very difficult time others stories on blogs gave me support and reassurance that things would be OK. A huge thanks to Marta for sharing her story around this time and to Dawn for her amazing post that read as if it were sharing my own personal thoughts about this whole difficult fertility struggle. Then last December we embarked on our second round of IVF more cautious and anxious than I could ever have imagined after such a devastating loss the first time round. So in February, when we received our wonderful result we found it hard to remain positive and get as excited as we did first time round but began steadily plodding on, counting down the days and weeks to each milestone with building positivity. Our hearts were in our mouths at the early 7 week scan at the clinic, for it was here first time round we had found out there was a problem, but there was our teeny, tiny little baby bean on the screen. We were referred back to our local hospital for further care and carried on the waiting game till the 13 week scan and were amazed at the huge picture that awaited us on the ultrasound - my, how our baby had grown. I am under consultant care at the hospital because of the IVF but everything is going well ('touch wood' - can't help but be superstitious!) and we have been lucky enough to have extra growth scans at 28 weeks and have another coming up at 34 weeks.

For me, the excitement and reality truly kicked in with those first baby flutterings in my tummy and have been a massive reassurance and comfort that everything is OK every day since. Now I know our battle has been nothing compared to some and I know how difficult it is sometimes for those struggling with fertility to hear about another blogger being pregnant but I wanted to share with you our success story. For, even in the hardest, darkest times, I always loved to read about someone who had come through this tough old road that is IVF and had their own bundle of joy on the way. Whilst being away from writing on here I have tried to keep up with some blog reading on and off and have marveled at the braveness of fellow bloggers like Miranda and Melanie for sharing their personal fertility struggles on their own blogs and I have enjoyed reading about others pregnancies, like those of Naomi, Kerri and Dawn. So I have decided to return to my little online home during this last trimester of my pregnancy, I realised how much I miss it being a record of life and the happenings in these parts and wanted it to record life with my 'tinywhitedaisy' too! I certainly will not be able to write on such a regular basis I am sure but I didn't want to forget all about Hydrangeas and White Daisies and what a gigantic help it had been through the tough times.

I hope you are all doing well, enjoying the season and look forward to catching up with you all again soon.